


Toy Soldiers

by Starofwinter



Series: Journals of the GAR [3]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Bitterness, Diary/Journal, Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 10:34:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8621104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starofwinter/pseuds/Starofwinter
Summary: Rex is tired of the war.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this song.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8giqOnWHYhQ)

_ From the private datapad of CT-7567, translated from the original Mando’a, dated 19 BBY: _

This is fucked.  We all know it.  They’re just going to keep throwing bodies at this kriffing war till either the Seps give up, or there’s nobody left to throw.

_ I don’t know if we’re going to win. _   I’ve never said that before, and I can’t say it out loud, but I don’t know.  I’ll keep pretending I have some kriffing idea of what we’re doing, but I  _ don’t. _  I don’t think anyone does anymore.  Not us, not the Jedi, not the Senate, not the fucking Chancellor.  Kriff, I hope nobody sees this, they’d have me destroyed in a fucking hot second.

Not fucking enough we’re dying by godsdamned thousands on the field, they’ve got us turning on each other now.  Fives should’ve been safe with us.  We should have kept a better eye on him, we never should have let him go alone, we should have  _ been there for him _ .  He should have fucking been able to come to his kriffing commanding officers without the fucking Guard getting involved.  Fives wasn’t  _ theirs _ , he was  _ ours _ , and we fucking failed him.   _ I failed him _ .   **_Fuck, vod’ika, I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry._ **

No, nobody know what the fuck is happening anymore.  Everything’s going to nine Corellian hells, and there’s no fucking way to stop it.  We’re not going to stop dying any kriffing time soon.  We don’t matter to fucking anyone except each other - we’re just kriffing disposable, always have been.  Didn’t hurt so much when I thought it would maybe mean something,  When I could be fucking proud of my rank, of being a trooper.  Now?  Now I know it doesn’t mean shit.  None of it does.  Fuck, I’m so damned tired of this fucking war.  

I think about Cut a lot lately.  I’m so damned glad that one of us got the hells out of here and found a family - wish more of us had done it.  Fuck, I wish  _ I’d _ done it sometimes.  No… no, I don’t.  My boys here, they need me.  They’re the closest I’ll ever get to having kids of my own, and I love them too damned much to just leave them behind.  Wish I could go and take them with me, but it wouldn’t be possible.  So we stay, and we die for the glory of the kriffing galaxy that doesn’t give a damn about any of us.

  
_ Long live the fucking Republic.  May it outlive us all.  _

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to try something a little different this time, and go with a first person POV. Rex lent himself pretty well to it.


End file.
